I Feel Terrible but at Least I Look Good

I am taking a sick day today, Tuesday April 30th. Yesterday afternoon was half a sick day - the morning was wonderfully productive, house- and writing-wise. Then I was feeling pretty bushed so I tried to nap and never fell asleep but when it was time to go get Simon, I Felt Horrible. Nausea (I would rather break my wrist and have a cast for 6 weeks, than feel nauseated for 15 minutes) increased and increased for about 2 hours (miserable, I tell you, I was miserable) until I finally, uh, you know, but then I still felt bad for most of the evening. Thanks to Matt for taking care of the boys; the nausea finally went away but I still felt generally yucky and was worried I might have the flu or something. This morning is much better but then I hardly slept at all, so today (I hope) will hold some naps.


So enough about that. Here are some random things I've meant to include in previous posts, but didn't because I misplaced the notes:

1. A few weeks ago we got a couple of books from the library about this kid Moses, who is Deaf. Isaac McMillman is the author; I haven't had the chance to find out more about him, but we enjoyed the books. The first was Moses Goes to the Circus, and I had a good time signing along to Grandma reading - I am semi-proficient in ASL and animal signs are always lots of fun. The second, Moses Goes to a Play (or Sees a Play, it's been a few weeks) was not such a blast for me because a lot of the signs were new for me so I was moving a lot more slowly. And after awhile I realized I was more nervous signing in front of Matt than his mom. ? Not sure what that's about. Our David Moses really enjoyed watching the signing; whenever I paused (due to, you know, a pause in the book), he would take both my hands and move them together to keep me going.

2. One of David's birthday gifts from his grandparents was this little laptop, with a doggie head as the lid/top and about 5 various buttons (hearts, stars, etc) to push to get different little songs. We also got him a laptop, but it's more complicated - it has a regular keyboard and Simon has bogarted it ever since. The smaller one, if you push the star button it plays "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" (naturally). David enjoys either spinning around in a circle for the duration of the song, or pushing his arms/hands out one at a time, and moving from closed hand to a little starburst sort of thing on each note. It's very cute.

3. When I took David for his 3-year-old Well-Child Check, there was another kid in the waiting room with us who was really cute and interacted with David a little. Mostly they just looked at each other, and after awhile I realized: they looked a lot alike. They were about the same height, with the same color brown hair, and both were wearing black sweatpants and white t-shirts. The other kid was probably 18 months, I guess, though I didn't ask his dad.

4. My birthday was Saturday and I treated myself to my annual haircut. We are a bit more financially stable these days and I felt okay going to this salon I really like in Asheville. I get a really great haircut there once a year, and that's it for the Joanna-maintenance. No other haircuts (generally), no mani-pedis, no facials or massages or anything.

Matt and I were split up initially; I dropped him and the kids off at a meeting place to meet his parents (this was what I wanted for my birthday, peace and quiet) for an overnight visit for the boys. Then he did an 8-mile run around Asheville, visiting all the places he ran while David was in the NICU. I took the car and finally found a parking spot close-ish to the salon. It was pouring rain and I was already a few minutes late for my appointment, so I was hurrying along the sidewalk when I saw a group of what appeared to be three homeless people standing together, two men and one woman.

As I walked toward them one of the men and the woman splintered off; they both nodded and said "hey" or something to me as they walked by. The other man spoke to me as I went past, I couldn't make out exactly what he was saying but it was a request of some sort, ma'am can you ... panhandlers (if that's what he was, maybe he just needed directions or to tell me I'm beautiful or something) don't really bother me; living in DC we got accustomed to multiple requests per day, and a dollar or two is not going to make or break me. For awhile I had some quarters in my pocket most of the time. But I was in a hurry, dammit, and it was my birthday, dammit, and this is the one time of year I spend money on myself, and sorry Mr. Homeless Person I am getting ready to pay $60 for a haircut (I'm a good tipper) and I don't have time to hand you a buck.

This, not the flu symptoms listed above, is the "feel terrible" part of the post. All that stuff in the above paragraph is true, and I feel like citing my birthday was among the more legitimate excuses to give, but that's what it is, an excuse. Our Sunday School class has moved from the Ann Vosskamp series to one by Francis Chan, that I really like. This was the indicting scenario in the opening session:

Chan recalled a day when he was under stress and he really needed to "get away from it all." He lives in California, so his approach to de-stressing was to get a muffin and a coffee, go to the beach, and sit on a blanket while watching the waves. He said he imagined God saying to him something to the effect of: "Oh, aren't you cute with your blanket and your little muffin and your coffee. In the meantime there are thousands, millions of people all over the world who will never know this moment of peace because they spend all day every day just looking for food and clean water for their children to drink so they won't die." Ouch. Chan followed up with the statement that we don't really need to spend a lot of time worrying about the specifics for God's will for us, since we do not seem to have yet grasped the big, obvious ones - (God's voice again) "How many times have I told you to care for the poor?"

Yeah.

Indicted.

Tried.

Convicted 

Sentenced. 

I'd made up my mind to give the guy a couple of dollars when I was done with my haircut, but by then (it took 2 hours, which didn't make me feel any better about how much I was spending, but damn it looks good) the rain was twice as hard and no one was out on the street ... maybe giving some money to the food pantry or one of the day laborers gathered behind the Exxon here might atone for my sins. But I kind of want to go back to Asheville and find this specific guy to apologize for being such a bitch.

More on Chan's study (and a related Bible study we did earlier this year re: panhandling and sacrificial giving, I meant to write on this but then forgot) later ...