Prenatal Diagnosis

There is a much more comprehensive, fact-based sort of page coming to this space. Until that is written, I say:

If you came to this site/page because you have recently received a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome, my thoughts are with you. That day and that experience, for my husband and me, were among the most difficult we’ve ever been through. If you want to contact me directly to ask about or talk about anything, please feel free.

If you are considering terminating your pregnancy, I hope you will take the time to gather more information, and I hope your doctor and/or partner or family are not pressuring you to make a decision one way or the other. Abortion was never really an option for me, but I try to respect the choices other women make.

Our first six months with David were very challenging. He was in the NICU for 3 months; that hospital was over an hour away and we have an older son to care for. David had to have open-heart surgery at age 4 ½ months, and the first couple of months after the surgery were really difficult too. I offer all this as a way of saying, it is hard to care for a newborn/infant with Down syndrome, and we have been afraid all along the way. But I ask that you look at the pictures on this blog, and show them to others, to show how happy and healthy David is today. I can’t imagine our family without him, and (in the way you forget the agony of labor) the memories of all the fear have faded quite a bit.

I can’t make a decision for you, and I know I have a lot of strengths and supports in my favor that other people don’t. But the way I have come to think of it is: The problems with Down syndrome fall into two distinct categories: physical and mental/developmental. The physical problems, though significant at times, I tend to disregard because a kid can be born with or develop any number of health issues, and as a parent you just deal with them as they come up and sometimes it is scary as hell but you just go through it.  The mental/developmental problems can also be disregarded, as crazy as that sounds. If you think about it, my worries about when David will walk and talk and be independent – those have absolutely nothing to do with David. They have to do with me, and my expectations, and my disappointment and embarrassment and susceptibility to what other people think. Nothing to do with David.

He is beautiful and funny and all-around wonderful. I’m so glad we have him.

There is help out there. Social workers, counselors, financial assistance, Early Intervention, support groups. You don't have to go through it all by yourself. 

Just check out his pictures, and go to the ndss.org site for more information. Again, feel free to contact me: JoMama2011@excite.com. I’m happy to answer any questions.

Also, http://downsyndromepregnancy.org/ (DownSyndromePregnancy.org)

Also, http://www.brightertomorrows.org/learning.html?language=1 (Brighter Tomorrows)