Campuses, and, Joanna Over-thinks Something

I recently took Simon and David with me to visit my undergraduate college, Western Carolina University. I’d taken Simon once before but that was during Winter Break so there were approximately two other people around. I’ve been promising to take him back when there would be lots of “college kids” (he latched onto that right away), and last week was a good time. Simon got much more out of the experience than David, as David was strapped in his stroller the whole time. Simon got to strip off his shirt and play around in this big fountain that was not there when I was a student, one of the guys from the fountain let Simon have a turn at his devil sticks (he was great, after a couple of tries he set it up so Simon would be successful – I could’ve hugged him) (the guy) (and Simon). And he got lots of compliments on his new “Avengers” backpack – the college kids all called it his bookbag, so he has started saying that too J.

I posted a photo of Simon in the fountain on facebook, describing him as my “half-naked future Catamount.” I also reported that David is a future Catamount too – last year my alumni magazine did a feature on a young man with Down syndrome, who is a student there.  I don’t remember what he was studying – we kept the magazine for a long time but it’s currently MIA. I heard a story on NPR last year that reported more and more young adults with Down syndrome are attending “regular” college, not simply being routed to vocational training programs. But they also said it’s difficult for them to get student loans – I suppose that while it’s, you know, nice for someone like David to go to college, his earning potential is probably still going to be pretty low, and I get that. But good grief how many people take a long time to pay back their loans because they can’t find a decent job right out of school?

One campus where David is succeeding tremendously (and the tuition is reasonable) is his Mother’s Morning Out program at our church. I was a little late in dropping him off one day last week, and the director and other staff person reported that several of the other kids had asked, “Is David coming today? When is David going to get here?” One of the little girls has especially latched onto him, and there are a couple of dads who know him. The director was mentioning the above questions to me in front of one of these dads, and she said the one little girl “really loves David.” The dad responded, “Oh, everyone loves David.”

(Here’s the over-thinking part) (a) I’m wondering to what degree, if any, the other little kids in MMO have detected something … unique … about David (I am loath to use the word ‘special’ but I suppose that’ll happen sometime). The program is for kids age 1 to 4, and Simon asked a few questions about why David was not walking when he (Simon) was 4, so I guess it’s possible. Aside from the basic idea of Down syndrome and understanding all the implications thereof, do any of them sense something (omg) special about him?

(b) A frequently-heard phrase about people with Down syndrome is, “They’re so sweet and loving.” And I will admit to a touch of this thinking, myself, when we initially got David’s diagnosis. Matt and I have discussed this several times, and have both said we do want David to be known for his overall sweetness and wonderful disposition, but that people not really attibute it to his Down syndrome – we prefer to believe he’d be as cute/sweet/adorable even if he didn’t have it. As Matt pointed out, it’d be impossible to separate it out – it’s not as if he was grumpy up until age 12, then he got Down syndrome and after that he was sweet? I suppose in the vein of Not Overthinking, we can just concentrate on the fact that he is incredibly sweet, loving and loveable, and everyone he meets does seem to love him. Maybe we won’t worry about chicken-and-egg, cause-vs-effect, quite so much.