The Way of Perfection - St. Teresa of Avila (1567)

CHAPTER 15 Treats of the great advantage which comes from our not excusing ourselves, even though we find we are unjustly condemned.

"But how disconnectedly I am writing! I am just like a person who does not know what she is doing. It is your fault, sisters, for I am doing this at your command. Read it as best you can, for I am writing it as best I can, and, if it is too bad, burn it. I really need leisure, and, as you see, I have so little opportunity for writing that a week passes without my putting down a word, and so I forget what I have said and what I am going to say next. Now what I have just been doing -- namely, excusing myself -- is very bad for me, and I beg you not to copy it, for to suffer without making excuses is a habit of great perfection, and very edifying and meritorious; and, though I often teach you this, and by God's goodness you practise it, His Majesty has never granted this favour to me. May He be pleased to bestow it on me before I die.

God be in my head, and in my understanding,

God be in my eyes, and in my looking;

God be in my mouth, and in my speaking;

God be in my heart, and in my thinking; 

God be at my end, and at my departing.

(Sarum Primer)

My Boyfriend and Other Random Thoughts

1. Our church has a delightful after school program on Wednesdays, appropriately titled, "Wonderful Wednesdays."It's for kids age 3 to 5th grade, and Simon has loved it for as long as he's attended. David will technically be eligible, here in about a month or so, but Matt (he's in charge of this ministry) is advising against it. I suppose I agree; this is not a public school or anything and they just don't have the staffing to give him the attention he needs - daycare is helping him with sitting in a chair and coloring or whatever, and I know that no 3 y.o., disabled or not, is that great at any of that "paying attention" stuff. At the same time, my hackles automatically went up (not at Matt, at the universe or something) - he has the right to participate just like any other kid. I suppose this'll be an ongoing or recurring battle, trying to balance David's rights with what a "reasonable accommodation" is, in any given circumstance. I guess I could volunteer in the preschool class and be available as a 1:1 for David; note to self talk to Matt about this.

This is not a Democracy

Obviously, I want folks to read this blog; that's why it's open to the public and I publish a lot of my posts on Facebook and encourage people to re-post/share. The positive feedback I have received is so totally awesome and welcome, especially on the "I am not ashamed but maybe you should be" series - it did require overcoming a lot of uncertainty to share information that's that private and personal, and it has been great to hear from everyone, but especially from those who do use or have used public assistance and have been the target of the stares, whispers, and criticism.

What Am I Doing, Exactly?

I came across a website a couple of weekends ago that I've been thinking about a lot. It's a blog by another parent of a son with Down syndrome, and we just started following each other on twitter. The blog has a list of other recommended (Down syndrome) parenting blogs, and you can nominate your own blog. I thought, oh great, some extra awareness & publicity, then I read the two requirements:

In order to be sure we provide our readers with a valuable and encouraging list of Down syndrome blogs, so in order to be included on the list your blog must:

1. Be updated at least once a month.
2. Be encouraging.

A Lenten Discipline, Sort Of

Hey, readers -

Each Ash Wednesday and Lent I think about something I could give up for Lent, and in the last couple of years I've also thought about adding something (daily prayer or reading). The only time I've officially said I was going to try to give up something that is detrimental to me was a couple of years ago, when I pledged to give up profanity. I knew it was something I should do, but I wasn't actually ready to give it up and my motivation was low, so it lasted less than a day.

Joanna reluctantly likes something, and on a different note, "Inspiration Porn"

In an earlier post I said our young adults Sunday School class was considering starting a series by Ann Vosskamp called One Thousand Gifts. We did make that the final selection, and have completed three of five weeks of the DVD.

I agree with nearly every single word that has come out of her mouth thus far, but her presentation style is a little ... jarring. Intense. Earnest. Unchanging. The format seems to be either (a) her addressing the camera directly, tenting her fingers and holding her head at an odd angle, sometimes on the verge of tears or (2) these uber-idyllic scenes from her family's farm (she home schools all six of her kids, God bless her) with her narrating. As Matt said, there's never any variation in this pattern, whether she's talking about carpe diem-type happy stuff, of relating her earliest memory wherein her 2 y.o. sister was hit and killed by a truck.