The Way of Perfection - St. Teresa of Avila (1567)

CHAPTER 15 Treats of the great advantage which comes from our not excusing ourselves, even though we find we are unjustly condemned.

"But how disconnectedly I am writing! I am just like a person who does not know what she is doing. It is your fault, sisters, for I am doing this at your command. Read it as best you can, for I am writing it as best I can, and, if it is too bad, burn it. I really need leisure, and, as you see, I have so little opportunity for writing that a week passes without my putting down a word, and so I forget what I have said and what I am going to say next. Now what I have just been doing -- namely, excusing myself -- is very bad for me, and I beg you not to copy it, for to suffer without making excuses is a habit of great perfection, and very edifying and meritorious; and, though I often teach you this, and by God's goodness you practise it, His Majesty has never granted this favour to me. May He be pleased to bestow it on me before I die.

God be in my head, and in my understanding,

God be in my eyes, and in my looking;

God be in my mouth, and in my speaking;

God be in my heart, and in my thinking; 

God be at my end, and at my departing.

(Sarum Primer)

My Boyfriend and Other Random Thoughts

1. Our church has a delightful after school program on Wednesdays, appropriately titled, "Wonderful Wednesdays."It's for kids age 3 to 5th grade, and Simon has loved it for as long as he's attended. David will technically be eligible, here in about a month or so, but Matt (he's in charge of this ministry) is advising against it. I suppose I agree; this is not a public school or anything and they just don't have the staffing to give him the attention he needs - daycare is helping him with sitting in a chair and coloring or whatever, and I know that no 3 y.o., disabled or not, is that great at any of that "paying attention" stuff. At the same time, my hackles automatically went up (not at Matt, at the universe or something) - he has the right to participate just like any other kid. I suppose this'll be an ongoing or recurring battle, trying to balance David's rights with what a "reasonable accommodation" is, in any given circumstance. I guess I could volunteer in the preschool class and be available as a 1:1 for David; note to self talk to Matt about this.

This is not a Democracy

Obviously, I want folks to read this blog; that's why it's open to the public and I publish a lot of my posts on Facebook and encourage people to re-post/share. The positive feedback I have received is so totally awesome and welcome, especially on the "I am not ashamed but maybe you should be" series - it did require overcoming a lot of uncertainty to share information that's that private and personal, and it has been great to hear from everyone, but especially from those who do use or have used public assistance and have been the target of the stares, whispers, and criticism.

What Am I Doing, Exactly?

I came across a website a couple of weekends ago that I've been thinking about a lot. It's a blog by another parent of a son with Down syndrome, and we just started following each other on twitter. The blog has a list of other recommended (Down syndrome) parenting blogs, and you can nominate your own blog. I thought, oh great, some extra awareness & publicity, then I read the two requirements:

In order to be sure we provide our readers with a valuable and encouraging list of Down syndrome blogs, so in order to be included on the list your blog must:

1. Be updated at least once a month.
2. Be encouraging.

A Lenten Discipline, Sort Of

Hey, readers -

Each Ash Wednesday and Lent I think about something I could give up for Lent, and in the last couple of years I've also thought about adding something (daily prayer or reading). The only time I've officially said I was going to try to give up something that is detrimental to me was a couple of years ago, when I pledged to give up profanity. I knew it was something I should do, but I wasn't actually ready to give it up and my motivation was low, so it lasted less than a day.

Joanna reluctantly likes something, and on a different note, "Inspiration Porn"

In an earlier post I said our young adults Sunday School class was considering starting a series by Ann Vosskamp called One Thousand Gifts. We did make that the final selection, and have completed three of five weeks of the DVD.

I agree with nearly every single word that has come out of her mouth thus far, but her presentation style is a little ... jarring. Intense. Earnest. Unchanging. The format seems to be either (a) her addressing the camera directly, tenting her fingers and holding her head at an odd angle, sometimes on the verge of tears or (2) these uber-idyllic scenes from her family's farm (she home schools all six of her kids, God bless her) with her narrating. As Matt said, there's never any variation in this pattern, whether she's talking about carpe diem-type happy stuff, of relating her earliest memory wherein her 2 y.o. sister was hit and killed by a truck.

I AM NOT ASHAMED BUT MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE, PART 3

I am in a pretty bad mood today. There was an ... incident ... at church last night that I can't go into detail about here. I will say, someone got really angry at me, took something I said in totally the wrong way and blew it way out of proportion, and stormed off but not before cursing in front of my two children. I was so upset, I cried off and on for about 2 hours. I was feeling better about that this morning, but then I came across this:

Goddamn it.

This was shared by an acquaintance from middle and/or high school, I can't quite remember which. I'm sure she's a nice person, I generally remember her as such. I'm assuming she didn't wake up this morning intending to be so mean, but that's what this is: mean. (continued)


Do you hear me? This is mean and horrible and if this is the way you feel about things you need to do something to change it because clicking "like" on this bullshit on facebook is never going to change anything. It only serves to make you feel better about yourself and whatever it is you think you do that is so great, while denigrating another human being. And if this is not the way you feel you should really take a second before you spread something this awful. It's not just silly or innocent or that I am making too big a deal out of it. It is awful. 


Addition: I am in no way suggesting that you don't have the right to say anything you wish to say. I'm just encouraging folks to think about what you are trying to say, think about what you are actually saying - what you want to accomplish and what you might actually accomplish. I may not accomplish a whole hell of a lot with this post but I hope it could maybe be a conversation starter, along with the other two "I am not Ashamed" posts.

In Vonnegut's God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater, the main character Eliot reports he has been asked by a new mother of twins to baptize her babies. When asked what in the world he plans to say and do, Eliot replies, "Go over to her shack, I guess. Sprinkle some water on the babies, say 'Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies - : God damn it, you've got to be kind.'"

Oh, and, these were a few of the other graphics on the fb page of the group this came from:

So yeah, another reasonable, mature, high-class operation. I know, this is like being mad at Ann Coulter for doing exactly what it is that she does (calling Obama a "retard" in a tweet and refusing to apologize after being called out on it). This is what some people choose to do with their lives, and my opinion likely means little or nothing to them. But maybe the folks who don't necessarily agree with them 100% but continue to pass this crap along, could think a little first, the next time?